Sierra Spirit

I sit in San Rafael Park away from the crowds ( hardly there are any). Not much of vegetation around. Surroundings are characterised by shrubs and bushes typical of a desert. I can see a big oak groove few yards away across creaky bridge. I do not hear any thing but cooing of birds. I neither hear the rumbling car or blaring horns though I am not very far from the road. I do not see any body around. It is already 7 o' clock in the evening. There is always a fair chance of any criminal attacking me. He can snatch gold on my body. Yet I was not scared . Nor do I visualize any probability. I am not quite sure whether I can sit in any lonely place like this any time back in my home land. Is this country free from crime? No. Is there more crime in India? Statistics say no.Yet I am more comfortable sitting here all alone. I am not uneasy in circling four miles radius around the lake while encountering very few people on my way. But I do not feel very comfortable taking 5 minutes walk to the neighbouring park early morning in my hometown. I do not see any body while I take my morning stroll in the University campus here. I pass through rose gardens. Linger through groves, sit by lake, roll on the sprawling lawns with wide blue sky above my head . I like to gaze the fading daylight through nameless tree leaves with my face against the sky . I love to watch gees crawling to the banks of a small lake with rare furor fluttering their wings. . I am delighted to watch concrete paths lighted with lamp posts with a measured distance, sitting on the rocks. I am all round, with no body to watch. No body to caution, no body to frighten, no body to disturb. Water bubbling from the rock fountain falls on the rock with jingling sound with no other overpowering noise to intersect. I am a woman. I can never sit alone and enjoy my being there alone anywhere in my own place. A respectable (family lady in Indian vocabulary) )woman never sits idling her time all alone. She can never squat, kneel, bend or lie down in any public place. There is no body to tell that here. A child in me sends me to roll down on the lawns. To climb a lonely rock. To watch stars in a dark night with my head in my hands bending back wards on a bench. " What do you like the most there?" asked my husband from India on a telephone. " Beaches? museums? shows? comforts?malls? what?" "This" I replied. "What?" he questioned "My freedom. I feel that every thing is created only for myself. I feel I am alone enjoying my big space" "You don't want any body around there? By any chance are you turning too selfish?" " I do not know. I am more happy with less and less intrusion" " I am yet to figure it out" he said. Being born in a big family noise is never a problem for him. Back in my country my child hood which passed in socialistic era where sharing is a virtue and resistance for sharing is a crime and quality to be detested. I was not too greedy with my penny but I am keen about my being for myself when I want. As an young women being never be able to spend a lone moment with the nature, I always pined for old age when people do not bother about me much. On the on-set even that seem to be not too easy with mandatory mangal suthrams and bangles, or least with my limited capability to bestow upon few financial favours to some body I never know before, never let me alone. Women is never alone in my sex starved nation. I am in the midst of Nevada the most dangerous state in United States ! yet I am safe and happy.